REVIEW #21: SPARE – THE INSIDE STORY

Spare

By Prince Harry, Duke of SusseX

Penguin Random House, 2023

PRINCE HARRY REFLECTS ON HIS VERY PUBLIC LIFE

Just the dedication and the Falkner quote evoked so much. Visions of Harry and William walking behind Diana’s coffin. The confirmation that, even after all these years, she remains in his heart, a constant warning of the Scylla and Charybdis of the press waiting to feed on any media morsel that might fall from the mouths of the manipulating minions and elicit a storm of reaction. And in those two sentences was the desperation of a young man who wanted to protect his family. The reluctant determination to flee Britain for a safe place to raise his children. The sense of them clinging together through a terrible tempest and the unpleasant reminder that the past, however horrific, stays with us in some form. Even the quote of an American writer was a poignant acknowledgement that Harry had become a displaced person.  

After 36 years of war with the feckless press, he had been forced to leave his homeland in search of protection and the time and space to discover for himself what is good and true in this life. What things are worth preserving. He had already caught a glimpse of them in the heroic lives of the returned soldiers who had taken their injuries and inner turmoil and transformed them into lives of purpose through their courage and commitment to forge a new life from the mangled mess of past wars. His war service was revelatory. It took us into the heart of a soldier and his comrades. We felt his frustrations. Those times when he was commanded to leave his post because his presence was putting his companions in danger. (It was an Australian journalist who betrayed his vow not to reveal Harry’s position, thus forcing him into a frustrating wait to find a new way to serve his country!) It was deeply moving to get inside the head of a soldier and hear him lament the breakdown in communications that prevented him from helping some Gurkhas who were ‘pinned down by a nest of Taliban fighters.’ Harry is still haunted by the sound of those Gurkhas calling for help, while he was helpless to intervene.

We also felt his pride. I remember he went to the South Pole with a broken toe, but vowed that ‘any time [he] felt tempted to complain – about my toe, my fatigue, anything – [he] had only to glance at . . .a Scottish soldier who had no legs. . . [or] an American soldier named Ivan [who] was blind’ to put everything into perspective. It was his second trek for Walk With the Wounded. After the trials of the first, it is clear that Prince Harry was no pampered prince. He was willing to endure whatever was needed to bring the world’s attention to the rehabilitation of those who bore the mental and physical scars of combat. It is his many experiences of being in the forces and at the helm of the Invictus Games that I found truly compelling because that revealed the heart of this prince who wanted to do something good in this world. I found his accounts of the wounded and the young soldier, in an induced coma, who was bandaged from head to toe deeply moving. Then there was the young girl who came up to him when the Foo Fighters were performing and thanked him for giving her daddy back because this gold-medal winning daddy had his self-worth back and that was a prize without measure. Then Harry put her on his shoulders for the rest of that  set because she couldn’t see. I found him to be an extremely empathetic human being in his interactions with friends and strangers. Actually, he epitomises the motto of Archewell Foundations which he established with his wife: ‘Show up. Do Good.’ If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Moreover, the press might get on board the encouragement express, instead of planting land mines in papers to destroy people’s peace of mind and blow communities to pieces.

There were two other main aspects of the autobiography. One was the connections and kinship of his family and the other was the enormous pressure of living under the critical gaze of the press and the way that damaged his relationships. I cannot imagine my every move being examined and reported upon by a pack of gossip-hungry hounds. With his striking red hair and the royal propensity to hunt foxes, I’m sure someone, sometime, has drawn this analogy between the fox and the hounds. I felt elated that he had been able to, finally, put some of his side to the story. What it feels like to be the prey. To be outnumbered. To be in their sights day and night. I was delighted that he had the opportunity to speak for himself and to expose some of the lies and most egregious behaviour. And they were legions of examples to choose from. Putting a tracking device on his girlfriend’s car was one. He also remembered, when he and William were children, his mother was trying to lose the paparazzi, then gave up and pleaded with them to leave her sons alone. What did they do? Crowd in closer to the car to take photos of her crying on the steering wheel!

There are a lot of memories. A lot to process. I hope that Prince Harry is able to carve out a new life for himself and that, someday, the old and the new will be reconciled. I salute his courage to confront his history after a lifetime of royal adages like ‘Keep Calm and Carry On, and ‘Never Complain, Never Explain.’  It takes enormous courage for a Prince to fight the lies and phone-hacking follies of the press, especially in the current chaotic climate of cancel culture, the rewriting of history, moral relativism and the tearing down of institutional authority. For being prepared to confront that destructive trajectory of our society, I commend Prince Harry and hope that he and his wife will continue their resolve to ‘show up and do good’ in this world, despite the carping criticism of others. If you would like some insight into family dynamics, the training and rigours of war, the invasive nature of the press and the struggles to find your place in this world (whichever corner you find yourself in) this is a marvellous book. It demonstrates the benefits of self-reflection that can bring you out of the darkness of grief, isolation, anxiety and the desperate attempt to numb the pain through substance abuse, into the light of love and service to others.